We Work Together, Whether Together or Apart
Thought for Contemplation: “If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.” Margaret Fuller
“We Work Together, Whether Together or Apart”
The Rev. Dr. Anita Farber-Robertson
First Parish in Cohasset
October 3, 2010
Association Sunday
Readings: The Tuft of Flowers, by Robert Frost (attached below)
Whose Hands Are These by Chuck C. Francis
“You are our eleventh minister since Ed died.”
With these opening words Woody Chittick started the first meeting of the Transition Team.
I was grateful. Those stark words brought home the reality of your congregational life for the past 15 years- You have been in transition…for a long time.
When I was a brand new minister and went to the UUA’s Start-Up Seminar, we were administered psychological tests designed to measure the amount of stress with which we were dealing. Of course they reminded us that stress is good, in moderate amounts. It can keep us alert, attentive and engaged. But in extreme amounts, it can have the opposite effect, and even producing physical illness.
I do not remember all of the elements of the assessment. What I do remember is that among the elements that can contribute to a high stress level are, the death of a family member, the birth of a child, the loss of a job, the gain of a job, or the change of a job, divorce, marriage, graduation, moving, child leaving home, children returning home…you get the idea. Any change of significance will register on the stress level scale and have an impact on your health, stamina and resilience.
Any change of significance will register on the stress level scale and have an impact on your health, stamina and resilience.
What is true for individuals, is also true for congregations.
Any change of significance will register on the stress level scale and have an impact on your health, stamina and resilience.
“You are our eleventh minister since Ed died.”
You, my friends, have had changes of significance in the extreme. Were you to take an equivalent evaluative test as if this congregation was an individual, your perceived stress levels would be off the charts, you would be candidates for some time in the hospital or the psych ward! And yet, though you are hurting, you are carrying on. I applaud you.
My applause is not for you alone. With Robert Frost, I know that we work together, whether we work together or apart. I have tracked your struggles, pains and sorrows over the years. We are a tight-knit Unitarian Universalist community, especially in Massachusetts. And even as I carried concern for you, and compassion, I was reassured and comforted by knowing that there is a Ballou Channing District Executive, Bill Zelazny, who is here to be your congregational support person. You were not alone.
You were being served by Interim Ministers, most accredited by the UUA and supported by the UUMA ministers’ chapter here in Ballou Channing, sharing a wealth of wisdom, advice and collegial support.
Those eleven ministries you have experienced through the past fifteen years, those that went well and those that went poorly, those that were intended to be interim, and those intended to be settled for many years were all supported by this network of resources and relationships, workshops and trainings provided by the UUA and its related enterprises. You have had particular and even urgent need to drink at the well of the UUA’s sustaining waters, and they have flowed freely to you.
In the face of turbulence, and the stress of recovering from transitions, you have made good use of the UUA’s resources. A stellar example is the Circle Ministry program. Jack Martin and Annie Spang learned of this program and researched it – how it has been conceived and implemented, and how it has worked or not worked in various congregations. From that they crafted the best possible program and structure for First Parish. They did a great job- the testimony being the vibrancy in your circle ministry program. They were able to do that because they recognized that although programs need to be tailored to meet the needs and situation of each particular congregation, as an association of congregations we do best when we learn and share from one another. To the extent that we do that, we each benefit from the experience of the other, and each contribute to the common wisdom, as we learn.
We work together, whether we work together or apart.
We can be reminded of that truth in every part of our lives, Robert Frost in his Tuft of Flowers, and Jane Silver who tells her story.
In my young life (she says), during the time that my father was very ill, my brothers and I were placed in foster care so that my mother could do what had to be done, earn a living.
An agency … and the…County screened these foster households during the early 1950s, and compensated those providing service. Some people apparently see foster care as a great way to supplement one’s income.
All looked rosy when first we took up residence. … The woman of the house was all sweetness and light when my mother was around. …
I won’t assail you with tales of physical abuse. Suffice it to say the nightly ritual of dinner was an agonizing event. …We were removed soon enough from this place.
There was a silver lining while there, however. This household was located in an area in Los Angeles that was just being developed and had acres and acres of wild areas. My older brother managed to survive all assaults … by finding a secret place in these wilds, and disappearing.
One day I followed him. I came upon him, crouched on the ground, digging. I crept up tentatively and asked what he was doing. He said he was building a miniature African fortress. We two then proceeded to spend hours: scraping the earth, evacuating the compound. We built huts and animal enclosures. We dug root cellars. A high observation tower was constructed by stripping twigs for twine to tie everything together.
We enclosed all with a strong high wall out of available twigs and bark. It was a wonderful sight to behold in complete miniature. We left the fort that night planning to return when we could to continue our refinements.
A few days later we went back. Our hearts sank. The field had been plowed! We ran to the place we remembered and there intact, with a distinct path around it, was our fort. We just stood there, looked at each other and smiled.
I can only imagine what had occurred. Some big hulking sunburned man in this huge cultivator had somehow seen our little construction. He must have gotten out of his rig, squatted down, studied it and seen the intricacies and joy that went into it and decided to go around. I forever bless you kind sir. A miniature gesture — of the highest order.
We work together, whether we work together or apart.
Sometimes we know it, and sometimes we don’t.
Our culture does not encourage us to know it, and we then foolishly take credit for the wells from which we drink, but did not dig, and equally foolishly, forget to dig the wells that will be needed by the folks who come after.
The starkness of this tendency was observed by someone who had been following the Olympic Games over the past several years. When the winning medalists were invited to speak or make some comment after their victory, Americans tended to talk about what it felt like to have achieved such a goal, and how satisfying it was to them to have all of their hard work pay off.
Those who were medalists from Asian countries on the other hand tended to accept the medal on behalf of a host of people, saying that they did not win that medal alone, that it was shared with all of those who had contributed to the victory- their coaches, their families, their team mates, others who had trained with them or encouraged them. They understood the medal as having been won by a whole cast of characters, all of whom played a part in making this victory possible. Those athletes understood that:
We work together, whether we work together or apart.
While I think there is merit in the awarding of medals to individual athletes for goals achieved, it is a disservice to the truth if we allow it to eclipse the reality of the dozens or more of people whose contributions went into making the victory possible.
Just as it is fine and appropriate to give thanks that we have the resources and capabilities to access a wide range of fruits, grains and vegetables, meats and seafood, if our gratitude stops there, and does not include the farmers and the harvesters, the packers and the truckers, the clerks who stock the shelves and the cashiers who ring our orders up, we are congratulating ourselves for reaching an achievement or receiving a blessing that was actually the success of the coordinated and combined work of hundreds of people.
And truly, it is more fun, as well as more honest, for us to gather up in our arms all of those who helped us achieve our goals and successes, and celebrate the deep connections that have sustained us that we might thrive and flourish.
An old Cherokee was teaching his grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
This same fight is going on within you – and -inside every other person too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
So my friends, on this Association Sunday, when we are called to remember the ancestors on whose shoulders we stand, to remember the saints of our tradition, living and dead who have contributed mightily to the strength and vitality of Unitarian Universalism, when we are called to do our part to insure that this treasure of a faith will be here for those who come after, we are helped to remember that
“We work together, whether we work together or apart.”
We don’t carry it alone, but we carry a part. Each of us. Ask yourself the question of the little Cherokee boy- which wolf, of those wresting inside of you will win- the one of cooperation, compassion, wisdom, kindness and strength, the one of association, or…
the wolf of selfishness, greed, arrogance, self-pity and regret.
Which set of values, which wolf do we want to prevail in the life story of Unitarian Universalism- which wolf do we want to win and guide First Parish in Cohasset into its future?
Grandfather’s answer is as true today as it was when he told it to that little boy many years ago. The one that will win, is the one that we feed.
So my friends, on this Association Sunday, I invite you to feed the wolf of compassion and strength, of wisdom and cooperation, the wolf of kindness and resilience, and joy. Give, and give generously. Support our Association.
For truly, “We work together, whether we work together or apart.”
Reading
The Tuft of Flowers
I went to turn the grass once after one
Who mowed it in the dew before the sun.
The dew was gone that made his blade so keen
Before I came to view the levelled scene.
I looked for him behind an isle of trees;
I listened for his whetstone on the breeze.
But he had gone his way, the grass all mown,
And I must be, as he had been,—alone,
As all must be,' I said within my heart,
Whether they work together or apart.'
But as I said it, swift there passed me by
On noiseless wing a 'wildered butterfly,
Seeking with memories grown dim o'er night
Some resting flower of yesterday's delight.
And once I marked his flight go round and round,
As where some flower lay withering on the ground.
And then he flew as far as eye could see,
And then on tremulous wing came back to me.
I thought of questions that have no reply,
And would have turned to toss the grass to dry;
But he turned first, and led my eye to look
At a tall tuft of flowers beside a brook,
A leaping tongue of bloom the scythe had spared
Beside a reedy brook the scythe had bared.
I left my place to know them by their name,
Finding them butterfly weed when I came.
The mower in the dew had loved them thus,
By leaving them to flourish, not for us,
Nor yet to draw one thought of ours to him.
But from sheer morning gladness at the brim.
The butterfly and I had lit upon,
Nevertheless, a message from the dawn,
That made me hear the wakening birds around,
And hear his long scythe whispering to the ground,
And feel a spirit kindred to my own;
So that henceforth I worked no more alone;
But glad with him, I worked as with his aid,
And weary, sought at noon with him the shade;
And dreaming, as it were, held brotherly speech
With one whose thought I had not hoped to reach.
Men work together,' I told him from the heart,
Whether they work together or apart.'
Poem by Robert Lee Frost
